Tips of the Trade: Cannabis Pro Tips

Who wants to learn about simple, yet effective tricks of the trade, important tools, cleaning solution recipes and anything else that can prove to make your stoner life easier? If you said yes, you're in the right place! I will try to cover some great "Stoner Pro Tips"

Cleaning:
If you own any kind of smoking/vaping piece it will eventually get dirty. Getting that sticky resin off of everything can be difficult with just soap and water so I’ve come up with a very good cleaning solution recipe to get the toughest gunk off of your glass. There are many products in stores but they are way overpriced considering you can make it yourself at home with a little experimenting. For those of you who don’t like to experiment, don’t worry, I’ve done the hard work for you.

Strong Cleaning Solution*:
2 parts 91-99% Isopropyl Alcohol
1 part Acetone Nail Polish Remover
Abrasive Sand or Salt or small beads/PVC Pellets
1-2 Drops of Dish Soap
*Will dissolve most plastics. Use with glass only

Alternatively, if you have acrylic pieces or ones that aren’t all that dirty, you can use Isopropyl Alcohol (91-99% preferred) and some Kosher salt or food-grade rock salt.

Now as far as cleaning tools, bristled pipe cleaners (with one tapered end if you can) are probably one of the best things to have. Bottle and bottle nipple brushes work well for some pieces as well. You can invest in special pipe cleaning brushes but a box of pipe cleaners are cheaper and much less maintenance. Q-Tips should be part of your cleaning kit, as well as small brushes like you find in with men’s electric shavers. They are great for scrubbing your grinder before you clean it and other pieces too.

Odor Control:

It should come as no surprise when I tell you that cannabis has an odor. While most cannabis enthusiasts enjoy the smell, those around you may not. There are many ways to reduce and even eliminate cannabis odors and below I will go into more detail.

Every experienced smoker will tell you to go with incense usually. However, I know this isn’t always something people like because it can be overpowering. If you’re into them though, go for it. They work great.

Oil warmers/Wax melters have got to be one of my favorite ways to eliminate odors. I love candles and good smells and this combines both into a nice table piece. You light a candle below a reservoir of scented oil and just let it burn while you smoke. The fragrance is strong but not overpowering and reduces the smell almost completely.

Air neutralizers are another way but they can be pricey. Good products like “Hogwash” have no odor to the spray and just neutralizes the smell to eliminate it. Products like this can get pricey though.

Air it out! Open your top and bottom halves of the windows in your house. The top being open allows circulation to take place. The top will suck hot air and smoke out (smoke rises) and the bottom half will bring in fresh air. This won’t eliminate odor right away but it will keep the smell from lingering after you’ve finished smoking. You can add an exhaust fan to the window as well.

Odor Eliminating Candles are another good one. They range from 4-8 dollars and are sold in smoke shops and pet stores. Pet stores have them labeled as Pet Odor Eliminators but they are the same candles. They actually work quite well to reduce the smell as you smoke.

If you rent and you have a surprise visit and need to mask the smell right away, burn popcorn, burn bread in the toaster or cook/burn bacon. Those smells quickly overpower the smell of cannabis.

Dual draft door guards work great at keeping your apartment/room insulated and also keep the odor in your apartment/room and not outside of it.

“Sploofs” are a name for a homemade device (and now actually made commercially) for masking the smell of the smoke you exhale. Essentially you would take an empty paper towel roll and attach a fabric softener sheet to one end and exhale through the other end to create a fresh smell without the odor. There are variations on sploofs. Commercial ones use activated carbon in a breathable chamber so it naturally gets rid of the smell. You can make your own with activated carbon by filling a soda bottle with the carbon (get from a pet store) and poking breathe holes on the bottom of the bottle for smoke to exit. Make sure you wet the charcoal though. It makes it work better.

Misc. Pro Tips:

If you have a 1-hitter/bat, use it as a roach clip for joints and blunts. If you don't have one, alligator clips that you can buy at Radio Shack and similar stores work very well too.

If you like rolling joints, make sure you use slow burning papers made from hemp like Skunk brand, Raw, and Elements to name a few. Skunk has non-flavored papers as well as sweet hemp (skunkalicious), blueberry, strawberry, and Piña colada. Skunk brand are my favorites personally.

The best way to keep your cannabis fresh is by keeping it in an air-tight jar like a mason jar. It will help keep the odor down as well too.

If your cannabis is too dry, adding an orange peel to your storage container for a day or two should revive your herb and give a nice flavor to it.

Getting the Most Out of Your Weed

Feel like you go through your cannabis too quickly no matter how much you buy? Don't worry, there's many ways to get the most out of your cannabis without sacrificing your high. Below I will go over some of the best ways I’ve found thus far.

One of the best ways to conserve your cannabis is to vaporize. When you vaporize cannabis you heat the herb just below combustion point and extract only THC vapor (depending on your temps you extract CBD and other cannabinoids as well). As long as you vaporize and not burn your herb, you can save what is left over after there is no more vapor and save it for edibles. “Vapor poo” as I call it is great for making cannabis butter and tinctures. However, with thoroughly vaporized herb, you do not get as much THC so you will experience more of a “couch lock” high with those edibles. Once you’ve made your edibles, save the herb you strain from whatever mixture you make and you can place some in empty pill capsules, add it to food . That right there just gave you 3x the amount of use from one batch of cannabis!

Every time you buy at least a 1/4 oz. save at least one decent-sized bud and label its strain if possible in a separate baggie, in a stash jar. After a couple restocks you will have built up a great stash for a rainy day jar or for whatever occasion. Not only will you likely have a lot of stashed away, but you will have a great variety to do a tasting, much like wine tasting but with more munchies, laughter, and fun.

One of the most important things to have when you smoke, isn’t a piece to smoke or vaporize it from, it’s a good grinder! Having a good grinder is key to conserving your cannabis. The finer the grind, the more surface area your herb has and the less you need to use to fill a bowl or smoke. A good grinder will grind finely and have at least 1 pollen catcher under the herb chamber. That pollen chamber is where all of your trichromes collect and as long as you learn to forget about it for a while, you will be pleasantly surprised when you open it on a rainy day to find it packed of that yellow/green goodness. The pollen, or kief as it’s typically called is THC in one of its strongest forms. This is what hash is made of and will get you very high. Buying efficient pieces also helps save your herb but that will be talked about more at a later time.

Remember children, be wise and use all of the buffalo!

Edibles Continued: Vegetable Glycerine and Alcohol Tincture Recipes

Vegetable Glycerine Tincture

What you need:

• Cannabis (1g+ cannabis /oz glycerine)
• Food-grade glycerin
• Flavorings (optional)
• Crock Pot
• Cheese Cloth
• Rubber Band
• Measuring cup
• Bottles - dropper bottles, roller bottles, amber dropper bottles, etc

Directions:

Step 1:
Pour your glycerin in the crock pot and mix in cannabis as well as any additional flavoring you may add

Step 2:
Cover, turn pot on low and cook for 8 hours stirring occasionally

Step 3:
Turn off crock pot. Once the mixture is cooler, take your cheese cloth and rubber band and secure it over your measuring cup.

Step 4: Strain your mixture through the cheese cloth. Once it drains squeeze out as much of the liquid as you can

**Strained plant material can then be put into capsules for even more use from the cannabis.

Alcohol Tincture

What you need:

• A flat pot that can hold about 2 inches of water
• High proof alcohol, the higher the better. (consumable alcohol)
• Cannabis (3.5 grams fresh) or vaped remains (7 grams)
• A small jar or bottles
• A cooking thermometer
• A filtering device – coffee filters work great
• Something to dump the filtered liquid into (jar, bowl, etc.)

Green Dragon Tincture (Fresh Cannabis)
For Green Dragon, it is best to use about an eighth of cannabis (3.5 grams) with 2 ounces of your high grade alcohol. You’ll need to decarb the cannabis before continuing. Once decarbed, continue with Golden Dragon steps.

Golden Dragon (Vaped Cannabis)
Step 1: Fill up the pan with about 2 inches of water and begin to boil it

Step 2: In the jar, mix about 7 grams of vaporized remains with 3.5-4 ounces of the alcohol

Step 3: Place the jar in the boiling water and maintain the temperature of the Cannabis/rum mixture at 170°F for 20 minutes – you want the mixture to simmer but not boil fast

Step 4: Remove mixture and strain out the liquid into a bottle or jar

Introduction to Edibles: Effects and Butter Recipe

Everyone's familiar with the concept of edibles, even if you don't consume cannabis. If there's a stoner movie, there's bound to be edibles in it. What's so great about them? To start, they are great for those that need cannabis to medicate but cannot smoke it, they can be VERY potent, and they can be quite delicious if made correctly. Edibles can come in the form of capsules, baked goods, butter, candies, mixed with any kind of food or in alcohol or vegetable glycerine tinctures. Edibles are powerful and it is recommended to start out with small amounts and increase every half hour to an hour until desired effect is achieved.

Pros: Slow approaching, steady high, and powerful high when dosed properly.

Cons: Slow approaching, creates strong odor throughout house/apartment while cooking, time consuming, varying effectiveness when homemade. Easy to have TOO much.


THC is fat and alcohol soluble which makes it a great medium for cooking. Edibles can be made in an infinite amount of ways but they all stem from the same initial process. In order to make proper edibles you cannot just put cannabis into a batch of brownie mix and get "baked". You can grind up fresh cannabis and lightly toast it in the oven at 325°F for 5 minutes until it is very lightly toasted. This is called "decarbing" and is simply the process of activating the THC. You don't have to do this step but it definitely helps make it more potent. Once your cannabis is activated you can now make your oil, butter or tincture. Alternatively you can use previously vaporized cannabis or as I call it, "Vapor Poo". Using vaporized cannabis will create a much less potent butter and will give you more of a body buzz/high due to the activation of other chemicals present in the plant.

Left: 4-dose chocolate chip cannabis cookie Right: Cannabis Indica tincture to treat insomnia 

Cannabutter Recipe

What You Need:

• A large saucepan or double boiler/crock pot (crock pot is the best)
• Spoon
• Butter (Its about 1lb. of butter to every ounce of cannabis so make sure you do the math).
• Cannabis 
• Cheesecloth
• Rubber bands
• Tupperware/storage containers (for finished product)

Crock Pot Directions:

Step 1: Add Cannabis and butter to Crock Pot. Set on low setting and cook for 4-8 hours

Step 2: Follow Stove Top Cooking Steps 5 and 6

Stove Top Directions:

Step 1: In a saucepan add water until about 1-2 inches deep and bring to a boil

Step 2:
Add desired amount of butter and heat until melted. Then put heat to low

Step 3:
Add your cannabis and keep on low setting. Stir occasionally and let simmer for 3 hours

Step 4:
Prepare your tupperware containers by folding your cheesecloth over several times (may need 2 cheesecloths) and placing it over the top of the tupperware and securing it with rubber bands.

Step 5:
When the water has turned glossy and thick on top you are now ready to strain the cannabis out of the butter. Slowly pour the contents through the cheesecloth. Once you're done pouring, carefully tie up the cheesecloth and squeeze out the remaining butter. Remaining plant material can be put into a meatloaf/food or capsules to get further use from your cannabis. CONTENTS MAY BE HOT! USE CAUTION!

Step 6:
Place the normal tupperware lid on the container and store in the refrigerator until the butter has solidified

Step 7:
Now that the butter has solidified, the water we used must be drained. Poke around the edges of the container with a butter knife to loosen it from the sides and allow the water to drain out. Now enjoy!

**NOTE** When making cookies or similar foods, weigh out portions to make sure each cookie/item is the same "dosage"

Edibles do not have to be limited to sweets. There are many great foods cannabis can be added to. It pairs well with other herb rich recipes like pastas and sauces. It could also be as simple as a slice of toast with a little bit of cannabutter. The sky is the limit or at least your pantry is *giggles*

The "High Scale": How High Are You?

This scale is to be taken humorously as well as give you a relative idea of what you would feel on a certain scale. Remember, everyone’s tolerance varies and this is to be taken mostly as a joke. Enjoy!

 [0]
Sober still. No “funny feelings” yet. Smoke up, man.

[1]
Beginning of “funny feelings”. Mild muscle and mind relaxation

 
 [2]
It’s kicking in, man. Random thoughts may surface. Seeking comfort, increased relaxation












[3]
It’s working man. Random thoughts become common. Increased appreciation of comfort, food, music and more.

[4]
Still rising, man. Weird muscle feeling may appear. For some, couch lock may set in already at this point. Music will start to sound much better. Thought patterns may start to transform. Mind images will start to clarify. Very mild closed eye visuals. Newcomers are blown away already at this point, they probably didn’t expect anything like this. But it’s good man. Relax.

[5]
Good shit, man. Couch lock may become common if smoking an indica but sativas will be causing energy and euphoria. Thought patterns have changed quite a lot. Weird muscle feelings become common. Everything is amplified. Concentration is starting to be affected. You may experience zooming out into somewhere only you inhabit for small periods of time. Newcomers may start to freak out but it’s all good man. Chill. Relax.


[6]
Thought patterns change radically. All feelings, thoughts, and senses are amplified, extended, deepened. Concentration is difficult for advanced tasks. Couch lock is almost a rule with indicas, but experienced smokers can still operate, which means getting food. Sativas will have your mind racing with ideas and creativity. Psychedelic feelings begin.

[7]
At this point, you’re pretty fucking smashed, dude. Dissociation may kick in for longer periods of time. Even experienced smokers probably just lie down at this point. Losing yourself in thought becomes easy. Some people may feel very tired. Radically transformed thought flow, starting to feel like a psychedelic experience. Newcomers more likely to freak out unless they have a strong sense of self control.

[8]
Well now, you’re starting to be very dissociated and may find keeping your eyes open difficult. Closed eye visuals are very common and may be intense, you may find yourself lost in them easily. Hearing sounds becomes slightly common

[9]
You’re gone, lost in thought. Falling asleep becomes very easy. Concentration is almost impossible to muster up, even for very simple tasks such as opening your mouth. Everything that your senses receive is put through a million amplifiers and distortion pedals, what you receive is probably not your friends saying, “let’s stick a carrot up his ass”, more like, “HURR DURR DERP”

[10]
The level of highness becomes so mother fucking that most people fall asleep, those who stay conscious may not remember much of their trip. What you experience can be compared to a good deal of strong psychedelics. Good shit man!

[Holy Mother Fucking High]
The rarest and most sacred of all highs, achieved only by a select few grand-masters across the millennia. The specific effects of such a high are unknown, but it is said that achievers may never return to the local galactic cluster again.